We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
–Randy Pausch

This is the “Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch. Pausch is a professor at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU). In 2006 he was diagnosed with cancer, and in August 2007 was told he only had three to six months left to live. On September 18, 2007 he gave his “Last Public Lecture”, entitled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”



Wow if I ever feel like I don't want to approach anymore or I'm not getting to where I want to be fast enough, I really need to watch this video and realise I only get one chance at life and I really dont want to waste it by failing to go after what I really want in life and getting to where I want to be.

A sudden realisation

I noticed something really interesting yesterday while shopping at the Trafford Centre with a friend. I was standing at the top of a spiral staircase overlooking a large central area and something occurred to me from what I observed. Women want to be approached and hit-on. Standing there seeing the way they'd dressed just to go shopping and the amount of effort it must have taken each of them to get ready before going out. It could be argued that women may make the effort to impress other women and thus increase their own social status but I'm reminded of this quote from the movie Hitch:

No woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!"

I think that quote rings true in these sort of situations, even if they are primarily doing it to impress other women (and I'm not saying they are) there is in the back of her mind the lingering possibility that she may have the opportunity to meet someone special today so she'd better make sure she looks her best.

This is something I need to keep in mind when I start to feel the fear of the approach.

My List

Carlos Xuma stated in one of the Approach Anxiety podcasts the best way for a guy to realise his worth and to stop putting women on a pedestal (and be generally more comfortable around them) is to make a list of your good qualities to help the guy in question realise that he has a lot to offer anyone anywhere. I think the idea is to be as ego centric as possible. With that in mind here's my list.

Hobbies
Hanging out with friends.
Playing Football (Soccer).
Swimming.
Keeping Fit.
Walking My Dog.
Graphic Design / Web Design.
Learning To Play Guitar.
Reading.
Watching Movies/ DVD's.
Listening to Music.
Watching TV
Playing Games

Skills
Cooking.
Drawing/Art.
Being Creative.

Personality
Humorous.
Outgoing.
Confident.
Social.
Intelligant (misspelled on purpose).
Extroverted.
Good sense of humor.
Generous.
Thoughtful.
Interesting.
Creative.